December 17, 2002 -- "Secretary" is one of the great porn films ever made. O.K., so I'm not an expert on pornography, but of the few pornographic films I have seen, "Secretary" is the best, right up there with "Crash." This film is all about sadomasochistic eroticism, and it is very funny, too.

Maggie Gyllenhaal of "40 Days and 40 Nights" stars as Lee Holloway, a girl recently released from a mental institution for slashing her wrist. She didn't mean to slash her wrist. She meant to hurt herself, but not that bad. She likes the pain. When we see her smile after putting a scalding hot tea kettle against her inner thigh, we can see this is one sick puppy.

After honing her typing skills at a community college, she goes to work for a very strange attorney, E. Edward Grey (played by James Spader who specializes in kinky sexual roles such as "Crash" and "Sex, Lies and Videotape"). The rather kinky attorney sees Lee cutting herself on the upper thigh, he understands that Lee has, uh, needs, that are not being met and he is just the guy to meet those needs. There is nothing wrong with his new secretary that a good spanking won't fix. The sexual tension during the spanking scene is only surpassed by another scene in which Grey masturbates on Lee's back. It is just one of several scenes involving onanism. Just in case you were wondering, there are also nude scenes. Oh yeah, it's porn all right. Sure, its artistic porn, but porn, nonetheless. Another film that is kind of analagous to it is "Harold and Maud." The difference between the two films is that "Harold and Maud" was pretty tame, from a sexual standpoint, while "Secretary" is more explicit.

In addition to Spader and Gyllenhaal, who are both terrific in the film, by the way, there is also Jeremy Davies, who plays Peter, Lee's girlfriend. Davies gives the exact same spaced out performance he gave in "Solaris." Lesley Ann Warren of "The Limey" plays Lee's mother, Joan, and Stephen McHattie of "The Dark" plays Lee's alcoholic father, Burt. These people are all very strange and most are dysfunctional. The film's limited color palate of rich browns and greens lends an air of organic (and moral) decay to the film. There is also a nice use of overhead and underwater shots in some swimming pool scenes. Cinematographer Steven Fierberg's use of long shots, peeking around corners, through windows and down long hallways also gives the audience a sense of being hidden observers, which is half the fun of this kind of film. There are a number of very funny scenes in the film, including the opening scene with the handcuffed secretary doing office work in a most peculiar way. Humor is the film's strong suit. A lot of the humor is physical, but most of the rest of it is just situations which are funny because of what we know about the characters. Because the film is funny, and because it does not take itself seriously, it makes the subject more palatable than it might otherwise be. If it was a little less explicit, it could have been another "Harold and Maud." This film rates a B.

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