April 5, 1997 -- "Double Team" is one of the goofiest, worst written big budget action movies I have ever seen, but it also has an undeniable charm.
The goofiness of this film lies both in the plot, which is almost incomprehensibly bad, and the dialogue, which is worse than some of those poorly translated owners manuals for oriental appliances.
There is no way anyone could suspend their disbelief enough to take this movie seriously. You've got Dennis Rodman with puke-green hair trying to pass himself off as Yaz, a high-tech arms dealer in Amsterdam. You've got Mickey Rourke (Stavros) on steroids kicking out pane after pane of glass for no reason other than the director, Hark Tsui, thinks that smashing panes of sugar glass is interesting. You've got Jean-Claude Van Damme trying to act in between all the yelling, grunting and shooting.
So you've got all this stuff. What does it add up to? It adds up to the fact that Van Damme is such a bad actor that he makes Dennis Rodman look good by comparison. Rodman is the only guy who appears to realize just how silly this film is. He looks like he's having fun.
Mickey Rourke makes a pretty good villain in the film. He may have a future in action films, which is good, because it looks like his future as a serious actor is shot. I see him as maybe a pumped up version of a Bruce Willis Die Hard anti-hero type.
The special effects and stunts are good. It looks like they spent millions on that part of the film with the money they saved by digging the screenplay out of some writer's garbage can. The plot has something to do with Van Damme (Jack Quinn) rescuing his wife and daughter from the clutches of Stavros, but it is mostly just a lot of shooting, fighting, explosions and yelling.
I have to admit, though, it was kind of fun watching Rourke do his Bruce Willis act and Rodman carelessly cavort through this mindless mess, so I'll give it a marginal C-.
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