December 14, 2004 -- Most sequels are not as good as the original film, that's an axiom, but “Ocean's 12” is terrible, even by sequel standards. Rather than a narrative, it is tiny bits of a story, which tumble out of the projector in an incoherent jumble. A do-it-yourself movie, you have the assemble the pieces yourself. When the story finally unfolds, it isn't worth the wait. At the end, you discover you've wasted both a lot of time and money. All this, despite all that wonderful A-list talent that went into this film. What a disappointment.

“Ocean's 11” was that rare remake that was better than the original. Witty, slick, breezy and fun, it was a clever caper movie. “Ocean's 12,” on the other hand is awkward and labored, a sweating, heaving mass of junk that never gets rolling. It is like a hot rod that never gets off the line in a drag race. It just sits there spinning its wheels. “Ocean's 12” reunites all the principal talent, including stars and director (Steven Soderbergh of “Traffic”), that made the first so good. George Clooney stars as bank robber Danny Ocean and Brad Pitt is Rusty Ryan, his partner in crime. The story has Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) catching up with the Ocean's gang and giving them two weeks to pay him back the money they stole from him (in the first film), with interest, or else.

The gang flies to Europe in an attempt to pull off some quick heists in order to pay off Benedict. There, they find out they are up against a mysterious character who is thwarting their plans for some unknown reason. They have to find this person and stop him before Benedict's deadline. They are also being pursued by a clever detective, Isabel Lahiri (Catherine Zeta-Jones), who is close to arresting them. I was willing to put up with this unbelievable nonsense for a time, but my breaking point came when the film actually has Julia Roberts portraying Tess Ocean, who, in turn is portraying Julia Roberts as part of a plot to get close to a guarded treasure in a museum. I don't think this could ever work, but in order for it to have a chance, wouldn't Julia Roberts have to at least establish the character of Tess Ocean first? They lost me at that point.

This is essentially a heist movie, mixed with confidence scheme elements. One of the things you need in order to have a successful heist movie is a good heist, or a good confidence scheme. Here, the big heist at the end of the movie turns out to be an afterthought. It is a throwaway heist shown as a flashback. The acting is casual, at best. The big problem is screen time. There is only enough of it for Clooney, Pitt and Matt Damon. Most of the others in the all-star cast, like Bernie Mac, Don Cheadle, Elliott Gould, Carl Reiner, Andy Garcia and Roberts, have very limited roles. This film rates a D. If you want to see a good heist, or confidence scheme movie, rent “The Italian Job,” or “Confidence.” Those are both a lot better than this.

Click here for links to places to buy or rent this movie in video and/or DVD format, or to buy the soundtrack, posters, books, even used videos, games, electronics and lots of other stuff. I suggest you shop at least two of these places before buying anything. Prices seem to vary continuously. For more information on this film, click on this link to The Internet Movie Database. Type in the name of the movie in the search box and press enter. You will be able to find background information on the film, the actors, and links to much more information.

Copyright © 2004 Robert Roten. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

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