February 23, 2009 -- I've cobbled together a few aphorisms, theorems, definitions and other observations on life, scholarship and the arts. I expect to add more as time goes by so check back from time to time. You can quote me if you like, but do me the courtesy of accuracy and attribution.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the cost of the wedding.

History is like a bright headlight mounted on the back of a car speeding along a dark road: It does not light the road ahead.

Those who know history suffer more because they know they are doomed to repeat it.

No artist's vision is worth the slightest amount of suffering by any member of any audience who must pay to witness it.

Avoid restaurants with skinny cooks.

Conspiracy theory: A simple explantion for a complex problem, formulated to lay all the blame on people you don't like.

Film critic: A person who has a preference for films that are very downbeat, depressing and/or very slow-moving who also happens to write movie reviews.

Fundamentalist Christian Republican: A person who does not believe in evolution, but does believe in Social Darwinism.

Vultch: (verb) To cruise around a parking lot waiting for someone to pull out of a parking space so you can move into it. As in: I managed to vultch a spot.

Copyright © 2009 Robert Roten. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

Robert Roten can be reached via e-mail at .