(2006) During the fall television-pilot season, only one quarter of all pilots produced are eventually picked up by the networks. Scriptwriter Mike Klein (David Duchovny), who has been creating tv scripts for fifteen years, may finally have written a hit sitcom. He's conscientious, devoted to his craft, disgusted with repeatedly having to deal with people in the industry always bending the truth to be less objectionable rather than saying what they mean: "I'm the one who's responsible for pumping this shit into people's living rooms."

At the fourth-floor conference room, he introduces two actresses - Jessica and Laurel Simon (Lindsay Sloane) - and two actors - TJ Goldman and Zack Harper (Fran Kranz) - vying for roles as the lead characters, Amanda and Rob. After watching the brief audition, "high mucky-muck" Lenny (Sigourney Weaver) and her new president of prime-time programming, Richard McAllister (Ioan Gruffudd), newly arrived with his wife and son from the UK, along with other network suits in the room, prefer Zack ("broad" comes across as "funny") for the lead, while Mike had been counting on TJ ("subtle" equals "dead fish") getting the nod. They also like Laurel over Jessica ("fake breasts?").

The script for the comedy show, The Wexler Chronicles, is more than just a story to Mike since it's based on his own coming-of-age experiences with his older brother who committed suicide. So when Lenny suggests to Mike that the suicide of the brother be rewritten as the death of the mother, Mike says to his pregnant wife, who's worried about their financial situation: "I gotta hold my ground on this show."

After watching his son's soccer coach urging the boys to be more aggressive, Richard calls Mike, offering to support the original script ("be aggressive") if he'll compromise by agreeing to Zack as Rob. Three weeks later there are complications on the set while shooting scenes for the pilot: e.g. time constraints (a child actor must be released after eight hours on the set), Zack's uneven performances from one take to the next, differences between the director's and Mike's expectations.

Another three weeks later both versions of the pilot (original with brother's suicide and rewrite with mother's funeral) are tested with focus groups while Mike's in the hospital for back surgery to correct a slipped disk. Just as he's about to go under for the operation, his manager Alice (Judy Greer) calls to say the network has agreed to accept the pilot for further consideration. "Which version?" Mike asks before the anesthesia takes effect.

What does it matter with so much having been compromised? The network's most popular program, Slut Wars, is a reality show where a girl gets voted off each episode. The same could be said of the entire process of picking the programs - they're all sluts - for the new season: Alice informs Mike that the network will add the show to its new fall schedule if he will agree to two non-negotiable conditions. Call me crazy, but I didn't find this satire particularly funny or engaging.

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Copyright © 2008 Patrick Ivers. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

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