(2007) In the village of Wall in England 150 years ago, a country boy named Dunstan (Ben Barnes) slipped past the 24-hour guard through the portal in the stone wall, crossing over into another universe.

In the magical kingdom of Stormhold, he meets Una (Kate Magowan), a princess in the thrall of the witch Ditchwater Sal (Melanie Hill), in the marketplace; for the cost of a kiss, she gives him a snowdrop flower of good luck. Nine months later an infant in a basket is left at the portal for Dunstan, who raises his son Tristan.

Eighteen years later, Tristan (Charlie Cox), a shop boy, attempting to win the heart of his "one true love," Victoria (Sienna Miller), is challenged by her beau Humphrey (Henry Cavill). Sacrificing his job and all his earnings for an evening of champagne with her under the stars, Tristan vows: "For your hand in marriage I'd cross oceans or continents."

Meanwhile, in the royal chambers of Stormhold, the king (Peter O'Toole) on his deathbed, faced with the question of succession, sets a quest for his scheming, remaining three sons (the other four have been murdered) of restoring the ruby in his necklace from a falling star.

Watching a shooting star, Tristan promises Victoria to cross the wall to bring it back to her; she gives him one week, otherwise she will marry handsome and debonair Humphrey.

Three decrepit witches - Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer) and her two sisters, Empusa and Mormo - after waiting four centuries since the last one fell to Earth, are desperate to retrieve this fallen star in order to regain their youthfulness. Lying in a meteor crater with a pendant bearing a gem about her neck, blonde and radiant Yvaine (Claire Danes) is the object of everyone's desires; Lamia, consuming the remains of the last star and resuming a temporary bloom of youth, along with renewed magical powers, intends to cut the heart from the celestial girl while it's still glowing.

Tristan's father Dunstan (Nathaniel Parker) hands over to his son the lucky flower and an unopened message from his mother wrapped about a Babylon candle, which had been in the basket with the baby. "The fastest way to travel is by candlelight," instructs the message, but instead of thinking of his mother, Tristan's thoughts are on Victoria and the fallen star: in a flash he soars to the crater, landing on the lady like a "magical flying moron."

Not exactly what he expected to find, he nevertheless secures Yvaine with the enchanted chain (also from his father) for the journey back to Wall.

Based on Neil Gaiman's fantasy novel, this enchanting cinema from director Matthew Vaughn (co-screenwriter with Jane Goldman) employs Ian McKellen's authorial voice as narrator: "Do the stars gaze back at us?" Oh, and let not the PG-13 rating dissuade parents from letting their younger children watch this wondrous picture with its risqué humor (for example, as Lamia's body looses its vigor, her breasts visibly sag; after Bernard, whom Lamia had transformed into a goat, is refashioned into a maid with a bosom, he's clearly curious of his new figure) and violence (several characters are run through with blades, one gushing blue blood), especially all the sword play at the end between Tristan and Prince Septimus (Mark Strong), the king's seventh and last surviving son.

On the return trip, a unicorn frees Yvaine; Lamia, after casting a spell upon Ditchwater Sal, sets a snare for Yvaine by magically constructing a cozy inn; Tristan, warned of the trap by Yvaine's sister star and informed of Lamia's evil plot, persuades Prince Primus in pursuit of the stone, traveling alone (though his five ghostly brothers are along for the ride, acting as a comical chorus to the subsequent events), to give him a lift in his coach to the inn, arriving just in time; Tristan and Yvaine, barely escaping from Lamia's fiery powers, are caught in the lightning net of a pirate ship sailing the skies with Capt Shakespeare (Robert De Niro) in command.

In the ship's hold, Yvaine asks Tristan, whose bold adventure makes plain his devotion, about Victoria's proof of her love (unconditional, unpredictable, uncontrollable) for him.

Capt Shakespeare, ever concerned about protecting his secret persona from destroying his rapscallion reputation, delivers the star and her protector, disguised so as to trick his crew, back to England during a stop (by the way, how does a phonograph get into the picture?) to trade lightning with Ferdy the Fence (Ricky Gervais).

Ditchwater Sal, with Una still under enchantment as a bluebird, once again plays a part: in exchanging for the return of the lucky flower, she provides Tristan and Yvaine (invisible to her as a condition of Lamia's earlier spell) with transport, though Tristan undergoes a demeaning transmogrification for his protection, during which Yvaine confesses her heart's desire.

Hot on their trail, Prince Septimus, lured on not only by the ruby (granting him kingship) but also by the temptation of immortality (Yvaine's heart), reaches the portal in the wall too late. (Where is Sal's caravan, which had just before been abandoned?)

Lamia has snatched Yvaine (had she crossed the wall into the earthly village, she's have turned into a blistered and scarred rock) away to her abode where her sisters await their share of rejuvenation; their opponents, Tristan and Septimus, are brought together in temporary alliance with Una alongside them for the final onslaught and fairytale ending.

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Copyright © 2009 Patrick Ivers. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

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