(2008) "In the world of crime there's always coincidence." While London mob boss Lenny Cole (Tom Wilkinson) develops a big, rigged deal with Russian mob boss Uri Omovich (Karel Roden) for seven million euros, he threatens members of the Wild Bunch ("They need a little bit of fear") if a much smaller loan isn't repaid by month's end.

As part of the financial relationship, Uri offers Lenny temporary possession of his lucky painting (which we're never shown); the Russian also relies on Stella (Thandie Newton), a "financially gifted" accountant, for funds. Uri's nefarious heart gets smitten, but Stella, married to a gay lawyer, has other ideas. Seeking a bigger payoff and sexual excitement, she gives petty criminal One Two (Gerard Butler) of the Wild Bunch a job to rob the accountants scheduled to deliver the money to Uri. (This opportunity provides a means of easily paying back Lenny.)

Meanwhile, Uri's painting disappears from Lenny's luxurious office wall, causing Lenny's wheels to come off. (Later he'll get a pair of new wheels.) Chief henchman Archy (Mark Strong) gets tasked with recovering the painting.

Accompanying One Two for the heist - the passive accountants offer no resistance and watch with curiosity as the holdup nearly stalls - is Mumbles (Idris Elba). Next time (Uri needs another seven million euros through Stella to replace what's been stolen) they'll rely on an accomplished driver behind the wheel, Handsome Bob (Tom Hardy), a puff; but this time the Russian picks people he can trust with the money. (His massive, nasty thugs compare body scars.)

Meanwhile, Lenny uses the threat of being consumed by American crayfish (greedy creatures that don't know when to stop eating) in the Thames to coerce information about who lifted Uri's painting: his missing stepson Johnny Quid (Toby Kebbell), a junkie ("sucking his soul through a pipe") rock'n'roller, who reportedly drowned in a boating accident. Rockers are worth more dead than alive.

With his recent bad luck, Uri requests return of his painting.

The accented humor is hot and spicy (especially the sex montage), served with a sauce of violence, in director/writer Guy Ritchie's convoluted but formulaic (Lock, Snatch and Rocknrolla) action comedy, but you may want the menu translated with subtitles.

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Copyright © 2009 Patrick Ivers. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

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