(1994) On a road trip across Australia in a pink bus christened Priscilla, two drag queens and a transsexual drive from Sydney to Alice Springs. Having received an invitation from Marian (he's been secretly married for several years - "We've only recently discovered that young Anthony here, bats for both teams," says Bernadette: "a donut puncher") to put on a cabaret show in the outback ("Four weeks. Equity minimum, two shows a night, accommodation included"), Mitzi (Hugo Weaving), aka Anthony "Tick" Belrose, convinces his partners in Les Girls - Felicia (Guy Pearce) and Bernadette (Terence Stamp), the latter just having suffered the loss of her 25-year-old Trumpet - to get aboard a bus (Felicia purchases for $10,000) to the tune of the Village People's "Together."

Director/writer Stephan Elliott's campy comedy was partly inspired by the story of the Australian, transgender cabaret performer Carlotta (originally Richard Byron), "an original member of the long-running Les Girls cabaret show, performed entirely by heavily costumed males, which started in 1963 in the purpose built Les Girls building which stood on a prominent corner in the heart of Sydney's Kings Cross," according to Wikipedia. "Les Girls and Carlotta soon became must-see attractions for visitors to Sydney and the show was popular with visiting international celebrities." Performances continued there until 1993, when, taking inspiration from the film, the show went on a road tour of Australia.

On the long, dull ride (2770 km), taking turns driving and entertaining themselves, they stop in a town where Shirley, a hag in a pub, confronts Bernadette: "We've got nothing in here for people like you." To which Bernadette retorts: "Now listen here, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!" The next morning the three travelers find a slur with "AIDS" painted across one side of the vehicle.

In the middle of nowhere the bus breaks down: while Bernadette walks off in search of help and Mitzi rehearses, Felicia repaints the bus in lavender. Rescued by an Aborigine ("You actually make money by dressing up like a woman?"), they perform (lip-synching) for the native people in elaborate headpieces "I Will Survive" from their act.

Waiting for a mechanic, Mitzi flies a "bare-breasted" kite (watch for the conclusion of the end credits for its reappearance) while Felicia explains the story behind the contents of a vial to Bernadette, who exclaims: "What are you telling me? This is an ABBA turd?"

After towing the bus into the nearest town and repairing Priscilla's vitals as best he can (needs a new gas tank and axel), Bob (Bill Hunter) suggests that the group put on a show; but his mail-order Filipina bride Cynthia gets loose and steals the show, letting fly ping-pong balls from her nether cannon. Angry with Bob, Cynthia departs; Bob then joins the "girls" to keep Priscilla in running order.

Flashbacks of incidents from Adam's (Felicia) - "Uncle Barrie's penie-pie is caught in the drain. Get mummy! Get mummy!" - and Bernadette's (dressed like a little girl, opening a gift of a truck on Christmas morning beside her brother Ralph) childhoods appear briefly. In Coober Pedy, Felicia nearly pulls a train of miners intent on ringing his bells. When Bob and Bernadette get drunk together, Mitzi says to Felicia: "Bernice has left her cake out in the rain!"

Following their arrival in Alice Springs for their Northern Territories debut - more surprises - the threesome in full regalia ("Let's get frocked!") hike Kings Canyon. Back in Sydney, after performing ABBA's "Mama Mia!," Tick says to the applauding audience: "No, that's enough. Oh, my tits are falling down."

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Copyright © 2010 Patrick Ivers. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

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