(2005) Do you want the long version or the short? A full moon, a circle from a flashlight's beam, a quarter being tapped on a signpost, a red sun rising. We could begin with: How do you in another vehicle prevent a goldfish in water inside a plastic bag on top of the roof a moving car, in which the driver doesn't know he's left it there, from falling off? Keep everything at a steady speed. Friction or fiction? "Now let's kiss to make it real."

In her first feature film, a quirky romance - even if it doesn't sweep you away, you'll be amazed by what the kids do - director/writer Miranda July also takes the lead as Christine Jesperson, a very lonely artist who also drives an "Eldercab" for people who feel too old to drive themselves. In taking 70-year-old Michael, who describes for her his finally having found the love of his life in another resident Ellen at St Tod Retirement Villa, to a department store, she makes acquaintance with shoe salesman Richard Swersey (John Hawkes), upon whom she begins imprinting her hopes and dreams of making her fantasy love real.

Recently separated from his African-American wife Pam (JoNell Kennedy), Richard shares responsibility for taking care of their two boys, 14-year-old Peter (Miles Thompson) and six-year-old Robby (Brandon Ratcliff), sometimes serving breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast; the boys spend most of their time at home with their dad in their bedroom on the computer.

Richard tells Andrew, his apartment neighbor and fellow salesman: "I wanna be swept off my feet. I'm ready for something amazing to happen." Two teenage girls, Heather (Natasha Slayton) and Rebecca (Najarra Townsend), in Peter's class pretend to be eighteen, teasing Andrew by Rebecca's flashing her red panties and then kissing each other as he looks on; he begins posting obscene messages on his window for them to read.

In an exchange of messages online, Peter, using Robby's suggestions, entices the prurient interests of someone, claiming to be female and requesting they meet on a park bench, though Peter assumes it's a wacko guy. Christine returns to the store to see Richard, waits until he ends his shift, walks a few block with him to his car, invites herself into the passenger's seat before he orders her out. At home she writes "ME" and "YOU" on the toes of pink shoes she'd bought.

Rebecca and Heather invite themselves into Peter's apartment, asking him to judge (with a towel over his face) who gives better head. When Christine attempts to deliver her tape in person to Nancy Herrington (Tracy Wright) at the Center for Contemporary Art, the director disdainfully tells the aspiring video artist to mail it instead.

After the school nurse contacts Richard at work that Peter's sick, he, unable to get away during a busy storewide sale, calls another neighbor - it takes a village - to pick the boy up from school; Peter makes acquaintance with precocious, prepubescent Sylvie (Carlie Westerman), who shows him the trousseau she assembling for her dowry.

On their third encounter, Christine asks Richard about his bandaged hand. He asks if she wants the long or short version. To her request for the long version, he replies: "I was trying to save my life." The short version then? "I burned it."

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Copyright © 2011 Patrick Ivers. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

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