(2004; dubbed English from Chinese) When the unstoppable force meets the immoveable mountain … something must give.

Two pretenders to the Axe Gang, a pair of losers - Sing (Stephen Chow) and his obese sidekick - visit a barber, whom they attempt to blackmail, in Pig Sty Alley, a very poor district of Hong Kong where the landlord and his nasty, fat, cigarette-smoking landlady hold dominion. When members of the actual Axe Gang appear, three kung-fu masters with unbeatable technique kick their butt, face, gut, etc.

Cartoon-like, kicking and comic, with incredible feats of feet and hands, leaps and bounds, flying through the air in slow motion and fists flashing, along with plenty of old-fashioned slapstick, director/writer/producer/star Stephen Chow's movie is all forward motion at top speed, because "In the world of kung fu, speed determines the winner."

After purchasing as a kid a do-it-yourself Buddhist Palm manual (if properly channeled one's chi flow becomes an invincible force), Sing gets beat up and peed on when attempting to protect a little girl from a gang of toughs taking away her lollipop. The lesson he'd learned he tells his sidekick: "The good guys never win."

Meanwhile, the boss of the Axe Gang hires a pair of professionals, Iron Fists from the Hung School: musicians who perform on strings of strength a murderous melody against the three masters of the 12 Kicks of the Tam School in Pig Sty. Just when the two harp players seem to have the upper hand, the landlady and landlord reveal their extraordinary powers, breaking a vow never to fight again, demolishing the tuneful duo.

Listen for the pastiche of parodies in the dialogue. Donut as he's dying utters: "This could be the end of a beautiful friendship." The landlord answers: "Tomorrow is another day."

Inside a heavily guarded cell within an insane asylum Sing, made a member of the Axe Gang, leads the way to the Beast, the world's greatest killer; but he's only interested in combat with a worthy foe. Confronted with the landlord and landlady (she of the terrible Lion's Roar), the Beast ("I cannot be defeated. Not in this world") agrees to a match of fantastic fighting. Yet there is one greater than he.

Click here for links to places to buy or rent this movie in video and/or DVD format, or to buy the soundtrack, posters, books, even used videos, games, electronics and lots of other stuff. I suggest you shop at least two of these places before buying anything. Prices seem to vary continuously. For more information on this film, click on this link to The Internet Movie Database. Type in the name of the movie in the search box and press enter. You will be able to find background information on the film, the actors, and links to much more information.

Copyright © 2009 Patrick Ivers. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

Patrick Ivers can be reached via e-mail at .