(2008) Beginning with "Another Christmas song." Stephen Colbert - silly, corny, and disrespectful about the holidays - offers Yuletide truthiness (while a pair of stockings, "Stephen" and "Colbert," are hung over the hearth) in a "royalty-returning song."

Trapped in his cabin by a bear lurking outside, unable to get to the studio to tape his Christmas special, Stephen calls Elvis Costello to explain his predicament and that the reindeer for the show are really goats with antlers. Toby Keith shows up (complaining that "in San Francisco it's legal to marry your Christmas tree") with a high-power rifle for deer hunting (venison makes great stocking stuffers), which becomes his guitar for a tune about the war on Christmas (presents of violent imagery and funny video clips): "Uncle Sam and Santa Claus are one and the same." Toby leaves Stephen (why didn't he go with Keith?) behind.

Inside the miniature Nativity scene appears Willie Nelson as the fourth wise man singing: "Let not mankind bogart love." Next Jon Stewart (whose photo was not available for the cast pictures) joins Stephen ("I'm trying to see me as a Jew") in a duet, suggesting the eight days of Hanukkah as an alternative to Christmas. "Without Christmas there's nothing to calm me down after Halloween," says Stephen.

Following Stewart is R&B superstar John Legend in a National Park ranger uniform to croon about "the spice supreme," nutmeg, missing from Stephen's eggnog. Atop the Christmas tree the angel ornament becomes Feist, tunefully responding to Colbert's prayer with "Thank you for holding," as prayers will be answered in the order in which they are received. His request of a miracle is answered, bringing Elvis to a phone outside the cabin where … Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes you get eaten.

The ensemble (including the bear - enemies put aside their differences at this time of the year) sing "What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?" Well, those difference can be very difficult to put aside if the beast is of a different religious affiliation, so Santa Claus (George Wendt) drops down the chimney to save Stephen. (Anyone else notice that Stephen and Santa have the same initials?) Elvis also gets extracted, and the cabin gets a new rug.

Finally, Santa has a gift for Stephen: a paradoxical DVD of the show even before it's finished. In closing Elvis and Stephen sing together at the piano: "There are much worse things to believe in."

As bonuses on the DVD you get an advent calendar, three alternative endings, and Colbert singing "I Want a Cold, Cold Christmas." Question: Whom do you think Stephen kisses under the mistletoe?

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Copyright © 2009 Patrick Ivers. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

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