(2008) A rightwing mock-you-Michael-Moore movie from director/producer David Zucker (screenplay co-written with Myrna Sokoloff and Lewis Friedman) is actually funny at times, though the stand-in for documentary filmmaker Moore, Michael Malone (Kevin Farley), the big fat slob in a baseball cap as the intended butt of the jokes, wasn't the cause for most of my chuckling.
At a 4th of July picnic, Grandpa (Leslie Nielsen) begins narrating a story to his grandkids - "This Scrooge hated the Fourth of July …" - by telling of Taliban insurgents (most of whom are named Mohammed Hussein) in Afghanistan, led by mastermind Aziz (Robert Davi), in need of a new, improved video presentation to recruit suicide bombers for the final jihad. Ahmed (Serdar Kalsin) and Mohammed (Geoffrey Arend) suggest getting a real Hollywood director to help, but someone who really hates Americans.
Grandpa then shifts to Cuba where Malone is shown filming for his healthcare documentary and proclaiming (contrary to what we can see): "What a paradise Cuba is!" Back in the good old US of A, Malone announces to his leftist supporters: "This Sunday we're going to abolish the 4th of July!" At this Grandpa inserts his own opinion, calling Malone a "Fat, ignorant, America-hating traitor …" Malone's nephew Josh (Travis Schuldt), an officer in the US Navy about to ship out to the Persian Gulf, invites his uncle to his family's 4th of July barbeque.
At a MooveAlong.org-sponsored awards event, hosted by Paris Hilton and Simon Rex, Malone receives the Leni Riefenstahl award for his latest documentary film, Die, You American Pigs. Following an appearance by Silvano (John O'Hurley) the maitre d' in an elegant restaurant where Malone meets with his agent, the scene moves to the Seinfeld (with appropriate music from the TV series) corner coffee shop where Malone meets with Aziz and his sidekicks (providing much of the slapstick humor) to discuss their proposal of a filming project for $10 million in cash (from the recent sale of an opium crop).
While Malone watches in his bedroom his hero on a big-screen TV, President John F. Kennedy interrupts his inaugural speech to step into Malone's room, accosting the filmmaker, "You have slandered it [America] all over the globe," and informing him that he will be visited by three spirits.
First is General George S. Patton (Kelsey Grammer), who shows Malone what would have happened in the past if his pacifist philosophy had been followed - Neville Chamberlain's acquiescing to Hitler ("Talking to evil dictators gets you nothing") and a negotiated resolution preventing the American Civil War, saving 600,000 lives ("You're the biggest slave owner in the state" of Alabama) - before taking him back to his own teenage years in Michigan when his girlfriend Molly fell in love with a soldier on his way to Vietnam while Malone went off to film school, the germ of his hatred for the military.
Returning to the present on the Bill O'Reilly (playing himself) program as a guest, Malone appalled listens in horror to Rosie O'Donnell (Vicki Browne) proclaiming that 9/11 was an inside job while describing her new documentary-film project about Christian terrorists, one of whom she predicts will attempt to blow up a commercial airliner with a bomb in his underpants and another will be known as the suppository bomber (more than a year before either of these incidents were to actually come to pass by other religious extremists), resulting in airline passengers having to remove all undergarments, as well as their shoes, and get anal inspections before boarding.
Back with Gen Patton inside a courtroom Malone witnesses a judge (Dennis Hopper) and other law-enforcement officials fighting off the undead ACLU. Finally the pair attend the barbeque at Josh's home where Malone is confronted with the sight of his nephew's children: little Timmy on a crutch and his two sisters, one needing a kidney and the other blind.
Next to visit Malone, George Washington (Jon Voight) implies that the filmmaker was in part responsible for the destruction of the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. Finally, the Angel of Death (Trace Adkins) in a black cowboy outfit takes Malone on another field trip to see the future: Hollywood as Bin Laden City.
As in Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, all of these visions produce a profound transformation: Michael Malone becomes a true patriot, but Josh's three kids end up in the drink (which might lead one to think that after all this was all just tongue in cheek).
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