(1984) Totally unreal, man; absolutely juvenile farce. Director/writer John Hughes, who specialized in teen-angst films, goes way over the top here.

Sophomore Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald), waking up on her sixteenth birthday expecting her day to be special, soon realizes how "utterly forgettable" she is. With her older sister Ginny (Blanche Baker) getting married the next day, everyone in her family, including both sets of grandparents, forget it's her birthday. Adding insult to injury, she has to sleep in "Sofa City" while her dad's parents sleep in her bedroom.

In school during class she answers a "sex quiz" from her girlfriend, confessing to an impossible crush on Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling), a rich senior hunk, who's going with Caroline Mulford (Haviland Morris), the prom queen. However, she has an admirer, Ted (Anthony Michael Hall), a freshman geek, who pesters her on the bus and at the school dance.

Her Baker grandparents have brought along a Chinese exchange student, Long Duk Dong (Gedde Watanabe), whom they send with her to the dance. (He scores, she doesn't.)

Sam and Ted end up together in the auto shop away from the dance where they share secrets: she tells about her birthday disappointment; he confesses to being a poozer: "I've never bagged a babe." After he surprises her with news she never expected to hear, he asks for a favor: "Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?" (He'll charge other freshmen a buck a piece to get a view of the undies.)

When Jake smiles at her, but neither speaks, she feels "like a disease." At Jake's house where "insensitive" Caroline (blitzed) has invited everyone for a boozy party, the place gets trashed: a pizza spins on the turntable as tape unwinds from a cassette.

Visual japes are at the expense of a girl in a neck brace. Ted's two dorky pals, Bryce (John Cusack) and another kid, wear weird headgear. Ginny's, who's marrying a bohunk, has her period on her wedding day.

Okay, get ready for this: Jake lets Ted (who doesn't have a license or know how to drive) take inebriated Caroline in his dad's Rolls-Royce convertible home, though they don't reach the intended destination. (How does a movie with a full shot of a woman's breasts get a PG-13 rating?)

There is a late-night, sweet-sixteen scene with her dad. "Make a wish," says Jake to Sam over a birthday cake and candles. "It already came true," she replies. Maybe for you, not for me.

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Copyright © 2008 Patrick Ivers. All rights reserved.
Reproduced with the permission of the copyright holder.

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